The past few days I have felt like a completly different person. I have felt... dead to the world, and it was asif i chose it. Thursday I payed a $108 ticket for going 13 miles over the speed limit last saturday night/sunday morning. when i came home, my dad told me that I went 500 text messages over... and that it was coming out of my pocket...$50 to be exact. my mom reminded me that I have a denist appointment next week in which i have to pay $45 to get a filling in the upper back part of my teeth where i got a cavatiy...even though the dentist told me that it would be very difficult for me to reach to clean there but apparently thats besides the point. My $380 car payment is sneaking up at the end of the month and the real funny part of all of this was... I wasn't and am not worried about any of it. Why? Because I KNOW it will be ok. Why do I "know" that? I believe that God is FAITHFUL.
This afternoon, on my way home from school I was around the little neighborhood that I grew up in which is actually right around the corner from where i live now and I came across a dog in the middle of the street. This dog looked JUST LIKE Rocky, the dog we had when I was a baby. Mama and Daddy had gotten this dog one year before they got married and he had to be put down a short while after he had turned 18 (in human years) It was so devistating for my mom because he had been her first baby. well... besides me. but ANYWAYS seeing this dog reminded me of when Rocky would sometimes get out and we would have to go search for him.. one time he got attacked by another dog, Rocky was lucky to have lived through it. After seeing this dog I rembered that horrible day and decided I was going to try and keep this dog safe and maybe get him back to his owner... well... the dog didnt really see things my way. 40 min later after chasing the dog all around the neighborhood. I found myself over next to the aisd school building/church offices. my feet were sore bc I had taken off my shoes when I ran after the dog. my feet and jeans were covered in stickers. I began my long walk back to my truck that was parked4 streets down, my spirt defeated.
THEN i came to a interesting thought...In this situation where I was chasing after this lost dog.. Jesus was... me. and then i was the dog... even though Jesus was chasing after me telling me that i was going to be fine. holding his hands out to me and assuring me that he just wanted to take me home.. i ran instead.
It isn't necessarliy me feeling like i HAVE run away or.. are.. or anything like that, because thats not the case. Just that... i need to realize that he is always going to be there, and no matter how big of a burden I seem to come into contact with or how lost I can get in this big world, he'll guide me through it... if i just trust and follow, not run.
