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PASSION 2011

It has taken me a few days to rap my head around what took place in my life & more importantly in my heart during the weekend of Passion. It is almost comical to attempt to answer the question, “So, how was Passion?” Outside of sharing with my mother and a few other people, my answer has been pretty straight forward… “Life changing. I’m seriously never going to be the same. Would take about an hour to explain… and since we don’t have that kind of time I guess we’ll have to save the conversation for another time.” The responses have been funny to watch. Some have been surprised, as if they weren’t expecting me to respond in that way. Others have been noticeably excited to hear about what happened, and happy about my experience. 

First off… rewind two days before Passion. At this point as far as I knew, I was not going to be attending. John was going to be there because he had signed up as leader through Fielder Road months ago, but I was not. I wanted to go but knew that financially we could not afford for both of us to go, and at this point the tickets were full price. So as far as I knew, I would not be there unless God wanted to, and made something happen so that I would be. 

Wednesday afternoon I got a text message from my cousin Jimmy asking if I was going to be at Passion. I told him no. We went back and forth about why and he ended up telling me that he might be able to make something happen. I found out Thursday morning that he was going to pay for half of my ticket. PRAISE THE LORD! It all felt so God ordained in that moment, and Jimmy and Jenny were so sweet and giving to do that for me. It was SUCH a blessing!! 

If I could sum up what I learned in the Friday night- Sunday afternoon time period I spent at Passion it would be by quoting one of Chris Tomlin’s newer song’s “I will Follow You.”

I have never doubted my salvation. I know with everything in me that when I was six years old, and I went into my daddy’s office to talk to him about becoming a Christian and a saved person— that was the real deal. I still remember the conversation I had with my Uncle Larry on the phone that evening. He asked me questions about what I was doing, why I was doing it, and celebrated along with me. I do not believe that I was confused, or making some emotional decision based on something I did not fully understand. I knew that Jesus Christ was my Lord and Savior and that without him I was doomed for an eternity in hell and suffering. I knew that my life would never be anything of purpose without him in my life, and I wanted to make that decision as soon as I could. I wanted to live as fully as possible for the rest of my life on this earth. I knew that— at six.

I do, however, know that it has been a bumpy ride. With that being said- I can count on one hand the times that I have experienced a life-changing encounter with the Holy Spirit. Obviously, that is NOT to say that I can count on one hand the times that I have encountered the Holy Spirit. Those two statements are completely different. THANK THE LORD ALMIGHTY- I feel the Holy Spirit moving constantly. After all, he has a home inside of me. But I can say that the live altering, world shaking, moments have been few and far between. 

Welcome, few and far between. Welcome, Passion 2011. 

-I went to Passion expecting to encounter the Lord. 

-I went expecting to be moved by the worship. Anyone who knows me well knows my love & passion. for music. As a singer— music, especially in worship settings, has a powerful effect on me. 

-I went expecting to hear some convicting messages. Come on- look at the line-up. 

-I went expecting to meet some new people, and maybe even like them. 

-I went expecting for Francis Chan, John Piper, and Louie Giglio to be pretty cool. 

-I never expected to have such a powerful and overwhelming sense of Love from my heavenly father that I could barely speak. 

-I never expected to worship so freely it was as if I was literally in heaven with my brothers and sisters bowing before the throne of the King of Glory. 

-I never expected to meet a group of six brothers and sisters in Christ for only 3 days and still to this day miss our time together. 

-I never expected to fall in love with missions. 

-I never expected to be so moved for the people of this world that have nothing that I would be willing to sell everything I don’t need, and only keep what is necessary. 

-I never expected for Francis Chan to make me question everything about the churches in America. 

-I never expected for John Piper to completely rock the foundation of my world- literally. 

-I never expected Louie Giglio to be the coolest pastor and person ever. The man never stops finding ways to help others and it is the most inspiring thing ever. 

-I never expected to get back to Arlington Sunday afternoon and be so emotionally shaken that I broke down sobbing every 5-10 min- to which my husband can attest to. 

The fact of the matter is regardless of how “broke” I might think John and I are or how much we may be hurting compared to some of our peers, we are immensely blessed and overflowing compared to the majority of the world. I was deeply convicted of this fact during Passion weekend. 

»Sadly, it often seems as though in order to be successful in THIS world you must have a high paying job that you never miss a day of, you must have the best phone, the coolest car, the nicest house, only wear certain brands of clothes, and you cannot ever allow anyone to see you fail, fall, trip up, mess up, cry, break down, or regret anything. If you have an abundance of wealth- you must keep it to yourself, and never share with others. If you have no money- you must pretend as though you do, and go deeper and deeper in the hole. The opinion of others is. all. that. matters. Outward beauty always outweighs inward beauty, and if you feel as though something is missing in your life there is always a new addiction to turn to. «

One of my favorite quotes from the weekend came from Giglio, and that was this:

“I don’t want to spend my life being a mule for this culture.” 

I’ve thought a lot about what that statement means to me. I don’t want brands and names to rule my life- UNLESS that name is Jesus Christ.

Saturday afternoon Francis Chan told a story that just about cut me to the core. If you don’t know what him and his family have been doing the past year or so, you should really look into it. It is quite incredible. He tells us the story of how he and his family have been traveling all over the world, visiting churches and Christian people. Here is the dialogue (as I can best relay to you.) of him visiting with students in the underground Church in China:

Chan: “So… tell me what Church is like here! I want to know everything!” 

Students: “Well… we use to meet in this building, but then the authorities found us… so then we had to run and hide until it was safe. There was gun fire… and we were running and laughing…” 

Chan: (On the edge of his seat) “yeah… tell me more… tell me more…”

Student: “I don’t understand. Why are you so intrigued?

Isn’t EVERYONE persecuted for their faith???”

Chan: “…not exactly…” 

Students: “uh… okay. Tell us what Church is like in America!” 

Chan: “…Okay….” (Pauses for a few moments.) “Well… we get up on Sunday mornings… and we get dressed. And then, we go to a big building. There we hear a man… a pastor… speak, and we hear a band or a choir sing worship music. But, if we don’t like the music, or we don’t like the sermon the pastor is preaching… we can go down the street to another building… and if we don’t like that one… we can go down the street a little ways more and go to another building….”

*Francis said in this moment the response was something he never saw coming. The students began to laugh hysterically. For what seemed like minutes they just laughed. They could not understand how it was possible for it to be that simple.* 

They literally risk their LIVES day in and day out to meet in the name of Jesus Christ, and we complain if the music is too loud, or if the pastor isn’t wearing what we think he should be wearing. Shame on us. Do we worry more about the building than the message? I surely hope not. 

“And as he came out of the temple, one of his disciples said to him, ‘Look, Teacher, what wonderful stones and what wonderful buildings!’ And Jesus said to him, ‘Do you see these great buildings? There will not be left here one stone upon another that will not be thrown down.” Mark 13:1-2

I find comfort in knowing that I have only scratched the surface of what the Lord is wanting to teach me. I find peace in knowing that if I lost everything tomorrow it would be okay because I would still have Him. I am so not okay with being a Sunday morning- stuck in my own way- complacent- selfish- scared- none risk taking- Christian. 

Bethany Dillion- Revolutionaries

Many have traveled this road before

  I see their tracks in the dirt

  But maybe I don’t agree

with where they are leading.

And who am I, just a youth

But why has that become the excuse…