A Greater Purpose

I've got to admit, I can be pretty paranoid about certain things. I am very OCD about making sure that the door is locked when I leave the apartment; I will jiggle the handle a least twice if not three or four times, and I click my car door locker about four times as I am walking to my destination. I LOVE shows like Criminal Minds, and CSI, but you would swear that I was IN one of those shows if you could see inside my head when I am walking anywhere at anytime of the day, especially at night. But even still one of the biggest paranoia’s in my life comes from my fear of what other people think of me. I literally dissect a person’s reaction to me, what they said about me to another person, a facebook status, or even just a look, till I am blue in the face. I will think about it until I convince myself of one of two things: One, that I am crazy, or two, that this person is actually upset with me, and I must find out why. I wish that I knew exactly why I am this way, but unfortunately I can only speculate as to why I am at this point in my life.

I was on facebook tonight, when I read something on a random person’s status, and immediately the question popped into my head; is she referring to me?? Truth of the matter is, I have had ONE conversation with this person, and she frankly knows nothing about me except what she could gather from my facebook information. (Which by the way, does not count as “knowing” someone) But yet here I was actually worried that someone was dogging me through social media. Then it hit me like a sack of bricks. REALLY Ashley? THIS is what you are concerning yourself with tonight? The Lord convicted me something harsh. It was as if I heard him say, “I have made you, given you breath, and life, and an opportunity to not only be successful in THIS life, but also in your eternal life, and THIS is what you are spending your time on? Worrying about what some petty person is writing on a social media wall?”

WOW. Talk about feeling small. Why do I concern myself with such minute things? Why do I worry about things that have no value at all?  The Lord of the universe has given me everything I need to make a difference in this world, and yet I focus on the things that ultimately mean nothing at all.  This is a lesson I seem to learn over and over again. And truthfully, I will most likely continue to learn it until my days on this earth are done.

While wrestling with myself over the unnecessary fuss I had just made, the perfect song came to mind, and I couldn’t help but sing over the lyrics in my head:

-Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth

Would care to know my name?

Would care to feel my hurt?

Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star

Would choose to light the way,

For my ever wandering heart?

Not because of who I am

But because of what You've done

Not because of what I've done

But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading,

Here today and gone tomorrow.

A wave tossed in the ocean,

Vapor in the wind.

Still You hear me when I'm calling

Lord, You catch me when I'm falling

And You've told me who I am

I am Yours, I am Yours.-

The word of the Lord is true, and it stands firm.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” Matthew 6:25-27

Lord, thank you for Your unwavering love for Your children. Thank you that You  not only convict us of our mistakes, but that You comfort us in our times of need.

I am forever thankful for my greater purpose.

Shakeol-what?

Shakeology is a blend of 70 ingredients that your body needs to be healthy. That's right, 70. How many of us actually get all of those ingredients in our bodies EVERYDAY?!?! Well, I do! Shakeology gives you your recommended 5 servings daily of fruits and veggies in ONE shake. It is Gluten and caffeine free, plus it full of protein, enzymes, probiotics and so much more. It helps with weight loss and management, energy levels, bloods sugar levels, digestion and helps fight cravings. And the best part-- it tastes GREAT! I personally love peanut butter and a banana in mine. To learn more go to Shakeology

Shakeology- Optimal health in a glass.

I'm praying for you... whoever you are...

At my job, we get faxes for a number of reasons. Letters of credit from previous electric providers, proof of residency, proof of active military service, and the list goes on. I recently was put in charge of keeping up with these faxes. I tell you this to preface my next statement. I got hold of a death certificate today, one of the faxes most disheartening to receive. It was actually the first I’d ever seen in my life. Glancing over it for a moment before I stuck it in a file, I saw the cause of death. Essentially, the person died of a Coronary Artery Disease caused by morbid obesity.

My mind starting wandering and questions began to flood. “Why did this happen?” “Was this an unhappy person?” “Who is she leaving behind?” “Did this run in her family?” I don’t know who this woman was, I don’t know her story, I don’t any single thing about her outside of the fact that she died, and that she died being morbidly obese. I can’t help but wonder how someone gets to that place. I mean, sadly I DO understand being so depressed and overtaken by sadness that turning to food becomes a temporary escape from reality. And I also understand the self hatred that almost immediately follows turning to that food. I understand what it feels like to be addicted to both food, and hating yourself for eating that food. It’s a dark place, and I don’t wish it upon any body.

I wonder who this woman was. What she believed in. Did she believe in herself? Or did she doubt herself? Did she know Christ? Did she have faith? I would have loved to have known her. Maybe I could have in some way helped her, or have had a positive effect on her. This might all seem silly… but I cannot control my questions on this matter as I sit here at my desk.

I am not a health freak. I don’t work out seven days a week, and I do not yet have the abs I’ve always dreamed of having. I am only beginning my journey to become a better me; to be a healthier me, both physically, and emotionally. However, I do feel that I am learning. And that I’m doing this learning every day. I have developed a strong and powerful desire to help people in all walks of life. It’s crazy, but I think I’ve always known this about myself. It’s like I’ve tapped into a part of myself, that’s always been there—it’s just been hiding. I can’t quite explain this feeling, all I can do is ham it out over this message, attempting to form words that make sense, and push myself harder than ever to be that person that I know is in there… somewhere.

The fact is I might have not ever had any impact on this woman. I might have been rejected to highest degree. But I still can’t help but wonder, what if? This lady was 60 years old, way too young in my book.

I guess I am writing all of this as an outward expression of my desire to be someone that genuinely cares for other people, someone that is known for her love and compassion toward people. My desire is to be a prayer warrior just like, my great grandmother, that I met just a few weeks before she passed, was until the day she died.

6 “Oh come, let us worship and bow down;

let us kneel before the LORD, our Maker!

7 For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture,

and the sheep of his hand.”
Psalm 95:6-7

Healthy eating at work

If you're like me... and you work at a desk A L L- D A Y- L O N G --- being "healthy" doesn't come easy. For one thing you feel lazy for sitting all day, even though you kinda have to! Here's an idea for a healthy lunch to eat at your desk that will make you feel energized and refreshed, INSTEAD of going down the street to Taco Bueno.

-Cup of grapes and cheese cubes
-Cherry tomatos, carrots, and celery

-a few crackers and tuna

YUM.

If you're like me, and you don't like celery by itself-- have some reduced fat peanut butter on hand. And don't forget a big glass of ice water. :)

My Transformation Story...

My story isn’t so much a story as it is a journey. Growing up I ALWAYS felt it. This lurking feeling in the back of mind, this horrible thought that I could not seem to get past. I hated my body. I played sports in Jr. High and High school. In fact, my freshman year in high school I dropped weight like it was going out of style. I felt good about myself for the first time. But sadly, this feeling did not last long. Once high school was over, and the sports were gone, I found myself drifting back into a sedentary life style. College was just around the corner, and of course I put on a few “freshman pounds.” By this time I wasn’t HUGE, in fact, I’ve never been HUGE. I have, however, FELT huge for a long time. Once in college I started to regain the knowledge I gained in high school. Exercise. Eat healthy. Lose weight. And I did exactly that. I got on a schedule and stuck with it. During these months of my life I did not have a steady boyfriend. I dated, but nothing ever serious, so it was easy for me to stick to my new plan. I had a slim-fast for breakfast, a light healthy lunch, came home, ran/walked a mile with my brother, did some weight lifting, ate a small portion of what my mom made for dinner, shower, go to bed. It was the perfect plan, and it was working out quite well for me.

THEN HE CAME ALONG…

Actually, the truth is, HE had been there for quite some time. My now husband, John, was my friend for years before we got together. But, once we did, my world changed. My time was no longer devoted to working out; it was devoted to spending time with him. He wanted to take me out to restaurants and spoil me, and I loved food. It was a win-win. The weight came on gradually, and for both of us but didn’t really take off until we got engaged. At this point in my life I had a man that thought I was drop dead GORGEOUS… and I felt comfortable with who I was for the first time in a long time. So I suppose you say I kind of let myself go.

When we started dating I’d say I was around 155-165. I felt pretty healthy and slim for being 5’10. I wore a loose 12. I felt good. During the dating, engagement, restaurant going, couch sitting, etc. I gained a good 30 pounds. I started doing weight watchers at work around the time that we got engaged. I did really well the first few weeks, but then just seemed to hit a wall. I can’t really say that I was trying very hard, but even still the weight just seemed to POUR onto me. I think a lot of it had to do with the stress that I put on myself about the wedding. I swore up and down that I would be a beautiful and THIN bride. I absolutely dreaded it not happening that way. Needless to say I gained weight all throughout the months before the wedding. I think when we got married I weighed a little over 189 lbs. When we came back from the honeymoon I had gained 5 more pounds.

I went through cry sessions with my husband on a regular basis. I would bawl on his shoulder as I cried out statements like “I’m so tired of feeling this way.” And “Why can’t I just be better?” I know it broke his heart every time it happened. I felt my whole life spiraling out of control. The truth is, I am still in the process of healing over the years of self hatred. I still have dark moments where I let my mind go to that place.

Becoming a coach for Team Beachbody feels like a brand new start for me. I feel like there’s always been a girl inside of me desperately wanting to make a difference in people’s lives. I just felt like my own weight issues held me back. I can’t wait to bloom into a real life success story of this program and its wonderful products.

If you would like to know more about what I do, and more importantly what I can do FOR YOU. Check out my website, and ask me ANY question you might have!

www.pinkpowerfit.com