Sometimes it takes an expected event or situation to come into place in our lives for us to realize what our purpose is here. We are not here to be anything but Gods beloved children who everyday live out his love in our lives. We are here to spread his name and his purpose out to every single person we come in contact with. We are to love others with no hesitation. It is sad, but true, that often times as a Christian I settle back into “safe mode.” This is the mode where I know that I’M safe… and so therefore that much be all that matters right? I am dead wrong. Suddenly all at once I realize how lost I can become in that state of mind; the state of mind that I am truly all that matters in my own life… and that other peoples fate is their own problem, not mine. Out of nowhere every single one of my mistakes, faults, and failures come shooting into my mind at once. I retrace every moment in my life where I ran away from Jesus. Every situation I walked into knowing that it was a dangerous one. Every time I treated someone like they did not matter. Every moment I decided that my way was better, and that God had no say in my decisions. I cringe when I think of all the times I blatantly disobeyed. Every time my motives were of evil intent, all the actions that brought on pain, and the times of stress that were caused, completely, by my own foolishness. All these thoughts come crashing down like a wave, burying me in an overwhelming sense of fear and failure.
Yet all at once, just as fast as I fell I feel the loving and safe arms of my savior picking up my broken pieces. Gently and gracefully, he mends every single broken piece. In a moment of pure love, I am put back together. My body trembles and my eyes fill with tears. I can no longer feel anything but his arms around me. Suddenly, I am restored. Now my thoughts of failure and pain are replaced with hope and love. Love for my almighty father and the restorer of my broken heart. Hope for the plans he has for me, and for the moments to come. I am no longer in pain for myself, but in pain for others. The others who have never felt this kind of love. The countless lost who never find satisfaction, and are always searching for something more. My heart breaks for them, and my soul yearns for thier lives.
Lord, give me strength for the days that follow. May your light shine through me, and may your love be the foundation of my life. It is in your sons holy and beautiful name that I ask these things. Amen.
Only you can mend the broken heart
and cause the blind to see
Erase complete the sinner's past
and set the captives free
Only you can take the widow's cry
and cause her heart to sing
Be the father to the fatherless
Our saviour and our king
-solution, Hillsong United.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
Sex
So i've been having lots of thoughts latley about my life and about the life that I am called to be living. To non-believers that statement most likey does not make much sense, and understandably so. To believers however, I have a feeling they will completly understand. The subject title of "sex" was not just used to prompt the opening of this blog, although i'm sure it does a good job of that as well. Instead i used it to narrow my thoughts down into a certain category. No, that does not mean that I plan to write about sex, however, it is in fact a part.
I have come to the realization that I have always used the fact that I will not have sex until I am married as a blanket to cover all other sexual acts or thoughts that have come into my mind and/or my heart over the last almost 19 years of my life. I think that what has happened to our society is we have turned sex into just a natural occurance that well... doesn't REALLY mean anything. Let me first start off by explaining my views on what sex is to me and maybe it will help you understand were I am coming from. I long for the day that I can say I DO to the man of my dreams and then... be able to give him all of me. Not just my hand in marriage and a promise to always stick by him, but also my mind, body, and soul. I want to be completly his, for this is Gods plan. He created someone that is perfect for ME, and I for him. I cannot think of anything that would be any more special for me to do on that day. So... ok, that sounds good so where does the problem come in? Well... anyone who has ever experenced a longing for affection or just attention of the opposite sex (which I should mention is almost every single person) would understand exactly what I am about to say.
God has made us with a sexual desire and passion for this very idea of affection and attention. HOWEVER, there is a time under heaven for this just like crying, laughing, mourning, and rejoicing. The time is NOT whenever you FEEL like you MIGHT be in love. or... the other person told you that if you loved them then you would have sex with him. Because honey... if they loved you, they would honor and respect you, and wait. Now all of this being said I would hate it if someone just assumed I was making all of this up so... lets go to the manual and see what it has to say.1CORINTHIANS 6:12 talks of sexual immorality, and Gods stand on it. I'm not going to share the whole passage with you, but I will share the last paragraph. Verse 18 says "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that YOUR BODY IS A TEMPLE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, who is in you, whom you have recieved from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." I gotta tell you... that very last line really convicts me and gets me thinking alot. We are not our own. I think as americans alot of the time we are always making excuses for ourselves and for our actions, and many times we just say HEY, it's my life. But.. is it really? Are you really your own? I believe that I belong to my creator and I just pray that I don't screw up all the wonderful things he has blessed me with.
I write this today with a heart that is broken for all those who have crossed the line. But also, for my ownself who at times is guility of thinking and acting asif I do not belong to the Lord and that I was not bought at such a precious price. Christs blood was spilled out so that I could live, and live without the barring of sin on my back. He took that from me... but it was not without a price. I think the most beautiful thing about our God is his unfailing and undieing grace. Grace that covers even the darkest sins. And for all the people out there who feel they have failed because they have had sex, or maybe something even worse than that... I have news for you... you can be wiped clean. His grace can wipe you clean and restore you. Restore you completly and make you new. We are all apart of Gods wonderful creation, and he wants nothing more than for you to be his child and to love him. It is hard to believe that something so amazing can be so simple.
God bless each and everyone of you. The lord is working in my life more than I have ever felt him working. It is an exciting feeling, but a scary one at the same time. I pray that you would find the God that loves you, and wants to make you whole again. And maybe you've had him... maybe you've become distant or even lost sight of him. But friend i'll tell you this... everytime you think that God has left your side... loo
k around. It was not God that walked away from you, but you that walked away from God
I have come to the realization that I have always used the fact that I will not have sex until I am married as a blanket to cover all other sexual acts or thoughts that have come into my mind and/or my heart over the last almost 19 years of my life. I think that what has happened to our society is we have turned sex into just a natural occurance that well... doesn't REALLY mean anything. Let me first start off by explaining my views on what sex is to me and maybe it will help you understand were I am coming from. I long for the day that I can say I DO to the man of my dreams and then... be able to give him all of me. Not just my hand in marriage and a promise to always stick by him, but also my mind, body, and soul. I want to be completly his, for this is Gods plan. He created someone that is perfect for ME, and I for him. I cannot think of anything that would be any more special for me to do on that day. So... ok, that sounds good so where does the problem come in? Well... anyone who has ever experenced a longing for affection or just attention of the opposite sex (which I should mention is almost every single person) would understand exactly what I am about to say.
God has made us with a sexual desire and passion for this very idea of affection and attention. HOWEVER, there is a time under heaven for this just like crying, laughing, mourning, and rejoicing. The time is NOT whenever you FEEL like you MIGHT be in love. or... the other person told you that if you loved them then you would have sex with him. Because honey... if they loved you, they would honor and respect you, and wait. Now all of this being said I would hate it if someone just assumed I was making all of this up so... lets go to the manual and see what it has to say.1CORINTHIANS 6:12 talks of sexual immorality, and Gods stand on it. I'm not going to share the whole passage with you, but I will share the last paragraph. Verse 18 says "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that YOUR BODY IS A TEMPLE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, who is in you, whom you have recieved from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." I gotta tell you... that very last line really convicts me and gets me thinking alot. We are not our own. I think as americans alot of the time we are always making excuses for ourselves and for our actions, and many times we just say HEY, it's my life. But.. is it really? Are you really your own? I believe that I belong to my creator and I just pray that I don't screw up all the wonderful things he has blessed me with.
I write this today with a heart that is broken for all those who have crossed the line. But also, for my ownself who at times is guility of thinking and acting asif I do not belong to the Lord and that I was not bought at such a precious price. Christs blood was spilled out so that I could live, and live without the barring of sin on my back. He took that from me... but it was not without a price. I think the most beautiful thing about our God is his unfailing and undieing grace. Grace that covers even the darkest sins. And for all the people out there who feel they have failed because they have had sex, or maybe something even worse than that... I have news for you... you can be wiped clean. His grace can wipe you clean and restore you. Restore you completly and make you new. We are all apart of Gods wonderful creation, and he wants nothing more than for you to be his child and to love him. It is hard to believe that something so amazing can be so simple.
God bless each and everyone of you. The lord is working in my life more than I have ever felt him working. It is an exciting feeling, but a scary one at the same time. I pray that you would find the God that loves you, and wants to make you whole again. And maybe you've had him... maybe you've become distant or even lost sight of him. But friend i'll tell you this... everytime you think that God has left your side... loo
k around. It was not God that walked away from you, but you that walked away from God
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