It's amazing how being in Gods word, and really taking it to heart can change the way you view people, and the way you view yourself.
Take these verses and apply them to everyday situations and I assure you; you will see things differently.
For the times you just don't feel very pretty, or attractive:
"Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and wearing of gold ornaments or fine clothes; instead it should consist of the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God's eyes." 1 Peter 3: 3-4
"The King is ENTHRALLED with your beauty; honor him, for he is your Lord." Psalm 45:11
When someone wrongs you, and all you can think of is how much you want to get back at that person:
"Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil, to take part in wicked deeds with men who are evildoers; let me not eat of their delicacies." Psalm 142:3-4
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:32
"Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law" Romans 13:10.
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another ABOVE YOURSELVES." Romans 12:9
When you feel abandoned, wronged, scared, lost, or just alone:
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1
"As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. For who is God beside the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect." Psalm 18:30-32
Lastly, when you just want to be encouraged in your walk with Christ:
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you aer the birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?" Luke 12:22-26
Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-- This is your spiritual act of worship. DO NOT conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed but the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:1-2
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dealy loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."Colossians 3:12-14
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes."Ephesians 6:10-11
"Be joyful always, pray continually and give thanks in all curcumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.1 Thessalonians 5:15-18
"You did not choose me, but I chose you."John 15:16
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Monday, March 31, 2008
How deep the fathers love for us?
When you read that statement, what exactly comes to mind? I can tell you personally, I get a good feeling for about five whole seconds and then it disappears. Why it disappears can be explained many different ways, however, the most profound reason is that of what we know as humans. All we really truly know is disappointment, whether it is in ourselves, in someone close to us, or maybe even in something bigger than ourselves. Every day we wake up to a world full of disappointments, of broken promises, and of shattered dreams. At times, to someone without Christ in their life, waking up is something that one may even dread for they know the world in which they are waking up to. The fact of the matter is, as a Christ follower and as a women wanting desperately to love and serve him, I find myself in awe at my inability to understand the full magnitude of the statement. Love, for most people can be taken with a grain of salt, if even that. For the most part “Love” in today’s society has become a word thrown around like a football on a Sunday afternoon. So it almost becomes understandable how not understanding it is so easy. How deep? Simple question really. How deep does our fathers love for us go? Well… one picture that is used often describes eternity I think can also be used to also relate to this idea. It is often said that to measure eternity you should picture the Grand Canyon. Now picture a bird dropping a grain of sand into the Canyon once every thousand years. When the Canyon is filled up… eternity has just begun. I honestly believe that the human brain is incapable of being able to fathom the idea of eternity. And much like eternity, it is equally difficult for us to fathom the extent to which God loves us. Imagine being loved from every hair on your head, to your toes. Not one inch of you receiving any less love than another. Love that is so strong it can withhold the largest storms, and the most difficult situations; love that can overcome even death. Even in my attempts to understand by picturing the love my father has for my mom, which I must say is deep in and of itself, I come to realization that it does not even hold a candle to God’s love for her, or me, or for you.
If that picture of love is not enough, try picturing this. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me in my mother’s womb.” “My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my UNFORMED BODY. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139) God wrote our life story before one day came to be. He made us. He crafted each and every one of us in his own design. Every hair on our head, our smile, our eyes, were crafted by HIS hands. Think of every single detail about you, your body, your personality… etc. that is A LOT of details, and to think that God did it all.
In a world full of lust, and of broken hearts, it’s wonderful to know that there is a God who loves you deeper than you can even fathom. And that NOTHING you have done or will do can ever change that.
Give thanks to the God of gods.
His love endures forever.
Psalm 136:2
If that picture of love is not enough, try picturing this. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me in my mother’s womb.” “My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my UNFORMED BODY. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139) God wrote our life story before one day came to be. He made us. He crafted each and every one of us in his own design. Every hair on our head, our smile, our eyes, were crafted by HIS hands. Think of every single detail about you, your body, your personality… etc. that is A LOT of details, and to think that God did it all.
In a world full of lust, and of broken hearts, it’s wonderful to know that there is a God who loves you deeper than you can even fathom. And that NOTHING you have done or will do can ever change that.
Give thanks to the God of gods.
His love endures forever.
Psalm 136:2
Monday, February 11, 2008
Imperfection, is not a sin.
Along with many other things, the title of this note can pretty much sum up what I learned this weekend. I went to my college retreat in complete expectance to encounter God. I looked forward to it for weeks before because I knew in my heart that something inside of me desperately needed it. As it turns out, I was right. An emotional weekend full of crying and praying has left me with such a stronger understanding of where I am... and where I want to be. Long talks with Michelle have given me so much more strength to carry on than I have ever had. Many people do not know or understand my problem. However, many more do. If I were to say that I have self esteem issues or "body image problems" most people would rolls their eyes and say, "who doesn't?" or... look down upon it as if it were something I could control easily. The fact of the matter is that my problem and issue that I seem to have developed over the years is... a temptation, and it is a sort of disease. An analogy that Michelle used this weekend to sort of put it into perspective is this: If 300 people lined up and each one of them handed me a drink, and tried to get me to drink it, I would say no thanks to every single person. If 300 people one by one handed me a cigarette... same deal, no thank you... next person. But if someone handed me a magazine with a beautiful girl on it... it does something to my mind that makes me feel like a failure. You see... temptation is something that everyone has to deal with. It's a part of life... Even Jesus was tempted by Satan. Unfortunately, Jesus did a much better job than I. Satan knows exactly where to get me. He knows the parts of my life that are rocky, the places that my mind takes me when I feel down about myself, and he knows how to twist the image of myself to where I can no longer see Gods beautiful creation. All I see is a mistake.
I was told by a few people this weekend that I was no longer allowed to see what I think in the mirror. That I was no longer allowed to see my faults, but the beauty that God gave me because, he made me. I was told to look in the mirror and see what God sees, what my parents see, and what they see. I think for most people, especially for men, it is really hard to understand why this type of thing would be a problem. It becomes almost impossible for them to relate to the deep dark feelings that can be felt. I think most people, if not all, CAN relate to feeling awkward, at times, in their own bodies… or even uncomfortable with how they look. But I think it becomes a deeper problem when you can longer even see the truth in the mirror. When what the world sees when they look at you... is completely lost in translation.
I have been singing in church for almost 10 years now. I have been on the stage, in front of people since before I even really understood the position I was in. Week in and week out I am in the spotlight… literally. I came to realize this weekend, something that I have always known…but have hid from, that my calling is to sing for the Lord. That the gifts he gave me were not just given for fun, but for a purpose. I believe with everything in me that Satan is trying SO HARD to keep me from that calling by whispering in my ear over, and over, and over again that I am not good enough. That I will never be accepted, and that if I jump, I will fall. I believe that the “syndrome” or disease… whatever this thing I have with PCOS was given to me, yes…given, to make me stronger. Why else would God allow a PHYSICAL disease to be given to a girl who struggles with herself, PHYSICALLY? It could have one of two effects… I could overcome it, trust that God has got it under control, and go for it. Or, I could tell myself that it is too big of a stumbling block. I refuse to allow Satan to have a foothold on my life. I am so tired of feeling like I’m not good enough. I need prayer, but more than all of it-I need to have enough faith in my creator to not be so afraid to jump.
This weekend I had the exciting experience of going off of a zip-line. I had never jumped off a high place before… and for a few moments before I did, I was pretty nervous. But, I did it… and it felt amazing to just let go.
Let go of my fear
Let go of my uncertainty
And Let go of Satan’s voice telling me I couldn’t do it.
I have been blessed to the fullest with people in my life that are constantly encouraging me. They keep me together and they never let me go. If I have been that blessed by people... how much more has God, my heavenly father, blessed me? I do not think I could even calculate it. Before I end this note I want to share a verse that I had in my life seen before until this weekend.
Psalm 45:11"The king is enthralled by your beauty, honor him, for he is your Lord."
Enthralled: completely fascinated and giving total attention to somethingSynonyms: absorbed, captivated, caught up, consumed, deep, diligent, engaged, fascinated, hooked, hung up, immersed, submerged.
I don't know about you... but no one has EVER expressed that kind of love... and amazement toward me. That verse made me get a feeling inside like I have never felt. That the Lord is captivated by ME.
Wow... what more could I need?
imperfection...is not a sin. It is a part of life.
I was told by a few people this weekend that I was no longer allowed to see what I think in the mirror. That I was no longer allowed to see my faults, but the beauty that God gave me because, he made me. I was told to look in the mirror and see what God sees, what my parents see, and what they see. I think for most people, especially for men, it is really hard to understand why this type of thing would be a problem. It becomes almost impossible for them to relate to the deep dark feelings that can be felt. I think most people, if not all, CAN relate to feeling awkward, at times, in their own bodies… or even uncomfortable with how they look. But I think it becomes a deeper problem when you can longer even see the truth in the mirror. When what the world sees when they look at you... is completely lost in translation.
I have been singing in church for almost 10 years now. I have been on the stage, in front of people since before I even really understood the position I was in. Week in and week out I am in the spotlight… literally. I came to realize this weekend, something that I have always known…but have hid from, that my calling is to sing for the Lord. That the gifts he gave me were not just given for fun, but for a purpose. I believe with everything in me that Satan is trying SO HARD to keep me from that calling by whispering in my ear over, and over, and over again that I am not good enough. That I will never be accepted, and that if I jump, I will fall. I believe that the “syndrome” or disease… whatever this thing I have with PCOS was given to me, yes…given, to make me stronger. Why else would God allow a PHYSICAL disease to be given to a girl who struggles with herself, PHYSICALLY? It could have one of two effects… I could overcome it, trust that God has got it under control, and go for it. Or, I could tell myself that it is too big of a stumbling block. I refuse to allow Satan to have a foothold on my life. I am so tired of feeling like I’m not good enough. I need prayer, but more than all of it-I need to have enough faith in my creator to not be so afraid to jump.
This weekend I had the exciting experience of going off of a zip-line. I had never jumped off a high place before… and for a few moments before I did, I was pretty nervous. But, I did it… and it felt amazing to just let go.
Let go of my fear
Let go of my uncertainty
And Let go of Satan’s voice telling me I couldn’t do it.
I have been blessed to the fullest with people in my life that are constantly encouraging me. They keep me together and they never let me go. If I have been that blessed by people... how much more has God, my heavenly father, blessed me? I do not think I could even calculate it. Before I end this note I want to share a verse that I had in my life seen before until this weekend.
Psalm 45:11"The king is enthralled by your beauty, honor him, for he is your Lord."
Enthralled: completely fascinated and giving total attention to somethingSynonyms: absorbed, captivated, caught up, consumed, deep, diligent, engaged, fascinated, hooked, hung up, immersed, submerged.
I don't know about you... but no one has EVER expressed that kind of love... and amazement toward me. That verse made me get a feeling inside like I have never felt. That the Lord is captivated by ME.
Wow... what more could I need?
imperfection...is not a sin. It is a part of life.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Almighty mender of broken hearts
Sometimes it takes an expected event or situation to come into place in our lives for us to realize what our purpose is here. We are not here to be anything but Gods beloved children who everyday live out his love in our lives. We are here to spread his name and his purpose out to every single person we come in contact with. We are to love others with no hesitation. It is sad, but true, that often times as a Christian I settle back into “safe mode.” This is the mode where I know that I’M safe… and so therefore that much be all that matters right? I am dead wrong. Suddenly all at once I realize how lost I can become in that state of mind; the state of mind that I am truly all that matters in my own life… and that other peoples fate is their own problem, not mine. Out of nowhere every single one of my mistakes, faults, and failures come shooting into my mind at once. I retrace every moment in my life where I ran away from Jesus. Every situation I walked into knowing that it was a dangerous one. Every time I treated someone like they did not matter. Every moment I decided that my way was better, and that God had no say in my decisions. I cringe when I think of all the times I blatantly disobeyed. Every time my motives were of evil intent, all the actions that brought on pain, and the times of stress that were caused, completely, by my own foolishness. All these thoughts come crashing down like a wave, burying me in an overwhelming sense of fear and failure.
Yet all at once, just as fast as I fell I feel the loving and safe arms of my savior picking up my broken pieces. Gently and gracefully, he mends every single broken piece. In a moment of pure love, I am put back together. My body trembles and my eyes fill with tears. I can no longer feel anything but his arms around me. Suddenly, I am restored. Now my thoughts of failure and pain are replaced with hope and love. Love for my almighty father and the restorer of my broken heart. Hope for the plans he has for me, and for the moments to come. I am no longer in pain for myself, but in pain for others. The others who have never felt this kind of love. The countless lost who never find satisfaction, and are always searching for something more. My heart breaks for them, and my soul yearns for thier lives.
Lord, give me strength for the days that follow. May your light shine through me, and may your love be the foundation of my life. It is in your sons holy and beautiful name that I ask these things. Amen.
Only you can mend the broken heart
and cause the blind to see
Erase complete the sinner's past
and set the captives free
Only you can take the widow's cry
and cause her heart to sing
Be the father to the fatherless
Our saviour and our king
-solution, Hillsong United.
Yet all at once, just as fast as I fell I feel the loving and safe arms of my savior picking up my broken pieces. Gently and gracefully, he mends every single broken piece. In a moment of pure love, I am put back together. My body trembles and my eyes fill with tears. I can no longer feel anything but his arms around me. Suddenly, I am restored. Now my thoughts of failure and pain are replaced with hope and love. Love for my almighty father and the restorer of my broken heart. Hope for the plans he has for me, and for the moments to come. I am no longer in pain for myself, but in pain for others. The others who have never felt this kind of love. The countless lost who never find satisfaction, and are always searching for something more. My heart breaks for them, and my soul yearns for thier lives.
Lord, give me strength for the days that follow. May your light shine through me, and may your love be the foundation of my life. It is in your sons holy and beautiful name that I ask these things. Amen.
Only you can mend the broken heart
and cause the blind to see
Erase complete the sinner's past
and set the captives free
Only you can take the widow's cry
and cause her heart to sing
Be the father to the fatherless
Our saviour and our king
-solution, Hillsong United.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Sex
So i've been having lots of thoughts latley about my life and about the life that I am called to be living. To non-believers that statement most likey does not make much sense, and understandably so. To believers however, I have a feeling they will completly understand. The subject title of "sex" was not just used to prompt the opening of this blog, although i'm sure it does a good job of that as well. Instead i used it to narrow my thoughts down into a certain category. No, that does not mean that I plan to write about sex, however, it is in fact a part.
I have come to the realization that I have always used the fact that I will not have sex until I am married as a blanket to cover all other sexual acts or thoughts that have come into my mind and/or my heart over the last almost 19 years of my life. I think that what has happened to our society is we have turned sex into just a natural occurance that well... doesn't REALLY mean anything. Let me first start off by explaining my views on what sex is to me and maybe it will help you understand were I am coming from. I long for the day that I can say I DO to the man of my dreams and then... be able to give him all of me. Not just my hand in marriage and a promise to always stick by him, but also my mind, body, and soul. I want to be completly his, for this is Gods plan. He created someone that is perfect for ME, and I for him. I cannot think of anything that would be any more special for me to do on that day. So... ok, that sounds good so where does the problem come in? Well... anyone who has ever experenced a longing for affection or just attention of the opposite sex (which I should mention is almost every single person) would understand exactly what I am about to say.
God has made us with a sexual desire and passion for this very idea of affection and attention. HOWEVER, there is a time under heaven for this just like crying, laughing, mourning, and rejoicing. The time is NOT whenever you FEEL like you MIGHT be in love. or... the other person told you that if you loved them then you would have sex with him. Because honey... if they loved you, they would honor and respect you, and wait. Now all of this being said I would hate it if someone just assumed I was making all of this up so... lets go to the manual and see what it has to say.1CORINTHIANS 6:12 talks of sexual immorality, and Gods stand on it. I'm not going to share the whole passage with you, but I will share the last paragraph. Verse 18 says "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that YOUR BODY IS A TEMPLE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, who is in you, whom you have recieved from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." I gotta tell you... that very last line really convicts me and gets me thinking alot. We are not our own. I think as americans alot of the time we are always making excuses for ourselves and for our actions, and many times we just say HEY, it's my life. But.. is it really? Are you really your own? I believe that I belong to my creator and I just pray that I don't screw up all the wonderful things he has blessed me with.
I write this today with a heart that is broken for all those who have crossed the line. But also, for my ownself who at times is guility of thinking and acting asif I do not belong to the Lord and that I was not bought at such a precious price. Christs blood was spilled out so that I could live, and live without the barring of sin on my back. He took that from me... but it was not without a price. I think the most beautiful thing about our God is his unfailing and undieing grace. Grace that covers even the darkest sins. And for all the people out there who feel they have failed because they have had sex, or maybe something even worse than that... I have news for you... you can be wiped clean. His grace can wipe you clean and restore you. Restore you completly and make you new. We are all apart of Gods wonderful creation, and he wants nothing more than for you to be his child and to love him. It is hard to believe that something so amazing can be so simple.
God bless each and everyone of you. The lord is working in my life more than I have ever felt him working. It is an exciting feeling, but a scary one at the same time. I pray that you would find the God that loves you, and wants to make you whole again. And maybe you've had him... maybe you've become distant or even lost sight of him. But friend i'll tell you this... everytime you think that God has left your side... loo
k around. It was not God that walked away from you, but you that walked away from God
I have come to the realization that I have always used the fact that I will not have sex until I am married as a blanket to cover all other sexual acts or thoughts that have come into my mind and/or my heart over the last almost 19 years of my life. I think that what has happened to our society is we have turned sex into just a natural occurance that well... doesn't REALLY mean anything. Let me first start off by explaining my views on what sex is to me and maybe it will help you understand were I am coming from. I long for the day that I can say I DO to the man of my dreams and then... be able to give him all of me. Not just my hand in marriage and a promise to always stick by him, but also my mind, body, and soul. I want to be completly his, for this is Gods plan. He created someone that is perfect for ME, and I for him. I cannot think of anything that would be any more special for me to do on that day. So... ok, that sounds good so where does the problem come in? Well... anyone who has ever experenced a longing for affection or just attention of the opposite sex (which I should mention is almost every single person) would understand exactly what I am about to say.
God has made us with a sexual desire and passion for this very idea of affection and attention. HOWEVER, there is a time under heaven for this just like crying, laughing, mourning, and rejoicing. The time is NOT whenever you FEEL like you MIGHT be in love. or... the other person told you that if you loved them then you would have sex with him. Because honey... if they loved you, they would honor and respect you, and wait. Now all of this being said I would hate it if someone just assumed I was making all of this up so... lets go to the manual and see what it has to say.1CORINTHIANS 6:12 talks of sexual immorality, and Gods stand on it. I'm not going to share the whole passage with you, but I will share the last paragraph. Verse 18 says "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that YOUR BODY IS A TEMPLE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, who is in you, whom you have recieved from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." I gotta tell you... that very last line really convicts me and gets me thinking alot. We are not our own. I think as americans alot of the time we are always making excuses for ourselves and for our actions, and many times we just say HEY, it's my life. But.. is it really? Are you really your own? I believe that I belong to my creator and I just pray that I don't screw up all the wonderful things he has blessed me with.
I write this today with a heart that is broken for all those who have crossed the line. But also, for my ownself who at times is guility of thinking and acting asif I do not belong to the Lord and that I was not bought at such a precious price. Christs blood was spilled out so that I could live, and live without the barring of sin on my back. He took that from me... but it was not without a price. I think the most beautiful thing about our God is his unfailing and undieing grace. Grace that covers even the darkest sins. And for all the people out there who feel they have failed because they have had sex, or maybe something even worse than that... I have news for you... you can be wiped clean. His grace can wipe you clean and restore you. Restore you completly and make you new. We are all apart of Gods wonderful creation, and he wants nothing more than for you to be his child and to love him. It is hard to believe that something so amazing can be so simple.
God bless each and everyone of you. The lord is working in my life more than I have ever felt him working. It is an exciting feeling, but a scary one at the same time. I pray that you would find the God that loves you, and wants to make you whole again. And maybe you've had him... maybe you've become distant or even lost sight of him. But friend i'll tell you this... everytime you think that God has left your side... loo
k around. It was not God that walked away from you, but you that walked away from God
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Why run?
The past few days I have felt like a completly different person. I have felt... dead to the world, and it was asif i chose it. Thursday I payed a $108 ticket for going 13 miles over the speed limit last saturday night/sunday morning. when i came home, my dad told me that I went 500 text messages over... and that it was coming out of my pocket...$50 to be exact. my mom reminded me that I have a denist appointment next week in which i have to pay $45 to get a filling in the upper back part of my teeth where i got a cavatiy...even though the dentist told me that it would be very difficult for me to reach to clean there but apparently thats besides the point. My $380 car payment is sneaking up at the end of the month and the real funny part of all of this was... I wasn't and am not worried about any of it. Why? Because I KNOW it will be ok. Why do I "know" that? I believe that God is FAITHFUL.
This afternoon, on my way home from school I was around the little neighborhood that I grew up in which is actually right around the corner from where i live now and I came across a dog in the middle of the street. This dog looked JUST LIKE Rocky, the dog we had when I was a baby. Mama and Daddy had gotten this dog one year before they got married and he had to be put down a short while after he had turned 18 (in human years) It was so devistating for my mom because he had been her first baby. well... besides me. but ANYWAYS seeing this dog reminded me of when Rocky would sometimes get out and we would have to go search for him.. one time he got attacked by another dog, Rocky was lucky to have lived through it. After seeing this dog I rembered that horrible day and decided I was going to try and keep this dog safe and maybe get him back to his owner... well... the dog didnt really see things my way. 40 min later after chasing the dog all around the neighborhood. I found myself over next to the aisd school building/church offices. my feet were sore bc I had taken off my shoes when I ran after the dog. my feet and jeans were covered in stickers. I began my long walk back to my truck that was parked4 streets down, my spirt defeated.
THEN i came to a interesting thought...In this situation where I was chasing after this lost dog.. Jesus was... me. and then i was the dog... even though Jesus was chasing after me telling me that i was going to be fine. holding his hands out to me and assuring me that he just wanted to take me home.. i ran instead.
It isn't necessarliy me feeling like i HAVE run away or.. are.. or anything like that, because thats not the case. Just that... i need to realize that he is always going to be there, and no matter how big of a burden I seem to come into contact with or how lost I can get in this big world, he'll guide me through it... if i just trust and follow, not run.
This afternoon, on my way home from school I was around the little neighborhood that I grew up in which is actually right around the corner from where i live now and I came across a dog in the middle of the street. This dog looked JUST LIKE Rocky, the dog we had when I was a baby. Mama and Daddy had gotten this dog one year before they got married and he had to be put down a short while after he had turned 18 (in human years) It was so devistating for my mom because he had been her first baby. well... besides me. but ANYWAYS seeing this dog reminded me of when Rocky would sometimes get out and we would have to go search for him.. one time he got attacked by another dog, Rocky was lucky to have lived through it. After seeing this dog I rembered that horrible day and decided I was going to try and keep this dog safe and maybe get him back to his owner... well... the dog didnt really see things my way. 40 min later after chasing the dog all around the neighborhood. I found myself over next to the aisd school building/church offices. my feet were sore bc I had taken off my shoes when I ran after the dog. my feet and jeans were covered in stickers. I began my long walk back to my truck that was parked4 streets down, my spirt defeated.
THEN i came to a interesting thought...In this situation where I was chasing after this lost dog.. Jesus was... me. and then i was the dog... even though Jesus was chasing after me telling me that i was going to be fine. holding his hands out to me and assuring me that he just wanted to take me home.. i ran instead.
It isn't necessarliy me feeling like i HAVE run away or.. are.. or anything like that, because thats not the case. Just that... i need to realize that he is always going to be there, and no matter how big of a burden I seem to come into contact with or how lost I can get in this big world, he'll guide me through it... if i just trust and follow, not run.
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